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Desperate Affection

Full Length, Comedy/Drama
1 man, 1 woman
Total Cast: 2, Interior
ISBN-13: 978-0-8222-1578-3

MIN. PERFORMANCE FEE: $105 per performance. MS.
THE STORY: Maddie is an actress pushing forty, who specializes in commercials for household products. Happy because she’s been dating a great guy, Richard, for the last few months, she is also nervous, sure that he must have a fatal flaw soon to be revealed. Richard is good looking, successful and loving, though a bit too clean. He even tells Maddie he loves her. But Maddie’s instinct is right: Richard’s flaw is that he’s a professional assassin who plans to shoot the President from her bathroom window! When the time comes, Richard handcuffs Maddie and meticulously removes all traces of his presence from her apartment. Maddie tries various means of escape or dissuasion—including telling Richard she is pregnant—but nothing seems to work until they struggle and end up making love. Now Richard has a big problem: He’s fallen completely in love with Maddie despite the fact that he only starting dating her for her window. But it is unprofessional to leave witnesses, and if he doesn’t fulfill his contract he will be the next target. So he comes up with a plan. Maddie can come with him. She agrees but tells Richard this is his last job. He agrees, but then there is a disturbance outside. Someone has tried shooting at the President and now his limo has fled the scene before Richard had his chance. There will be no shot at the President for him. He is upset, but Maddie breaks out the champagne. When Richard reminds her she can’t drink if she’s pregnant, Maddie admits she’s not. Maddie wonders if he is angry at her, Richard says he’s relieved, but then shoots her, and takes his leave.
A wonderful dark comedy about a woman whose perfect man turns out to be a hitman.