REVISED EDITION. Manuscript is available in EPUB format.
THE STORY: Santa Claus is tired of the lies. Like the gods of old, he, too, has his mortal mistresses. This Christmas Eve he will bring Mary, his favorite earthly consort, and Luke and Freya, their illegitimate, semi-divine children, back to his North Pole compound to live with him—forever! Not surprisingly, Mrs. Claus resists. First she withholds Santa’s beloved joy-weed. Then she tries to poison Mary and the children with some delicious candy-wine. And as the singing elf-servants Jo-Jo and Jim-Jim, and Mary’s drunkard husband, George, are drawn into the marital mêlée, all Hell—quite literally—breaks loose.
“If you cringe at the ads for White Christmas on Broadway or roll your eyes at the plaintive pleas of Tiny Tim, then have I got a jolly good time for you. THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA, a giddy, pleasingly sloppy downtown satire…is a holiday show for people sick of holiday shows. It stars Santa, but this isn’t the happy man at Macy’s. He doesn’t just slip down the chimney, bearing gifts. He also sleeps with your wife, smokes magic weed and chuckles 'ho ho ho’ with a leer that suggests more than good cheer…While deconstructing the Santa story will shock few skeptical teenagers, the show packages some sweetly funny humor (the deadpan songs by the elves, who act as a kind of chorus, are highlights) and an epic story with hints of Disney and Greek myth in a warm-hearted family affair.” —NY Times. “For a big holiday helping of slapstick, madcap family fare, nothing beats discovering THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA. This fast-paced, campy romp shows the darker side of the Santa myth—including the fallout that comes after Mommy is caught kissing Santa Claus. With the help of the strange powers of Santa’s two illegitimate children, the North Pole goes from murderous mayhem to peace on earth, just in time for Christmas.” —EdgeNewYork.com. “Marvelously silly…an authentic treat for harried minds…” —StageAndCinema.com.